Lamentations - I feel like God has forgotten about me

 Hi Everyone,
I hope your 2025 has been better than mine. I hope your goals were accomplished and unexpected, good things have happened for you.
So we all know that I put it out in the universe that I will get married in 2025. Well it hasn't happened, and I am as single as I started the year.

I will just be honest, I feel everyday, and for the past several years that God has forgotten me. I seriously believe that getting married and having children is not hard, it happens when God wants it for you. I have seen over 97% of my friends get married and have children. So when I say its not hard, I am coming from that point of view. If something was hard, 97% of the people close to me won't have achieved it. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for my friends and family.
I will tell you this - people have mocked me. Satan's people have been winning.
I have fasted and prayed for many years to get married. I actually do not know anymore if I can say God answers prayers. It's clear that God sits in the heavens and He does as it pleases Him.  

I spent a good portion of yesterday evening crying and telling God how I feel - He has abandoned me, and How I think He hasn't been fair to me. Is here any good in living for God? Is there any good in waiting for marriage? Is there any good in fasting and seeking God's face? Is there any good in praising? Is there any good in obedience? Is there any good in praying? Is it all a waste of time that humans told us to do? God when was the last time you blessed me with something? When was the last time you blessed me with something I really wanted, and not allow the devil to add sorrow to it? Should I totally stop praying?

Yes, I know that sometimes I compare my life to others. Lord, whether I compare my life to others doesn't mean that You should not hear me. Papa God, these same people don't even glorify You, yet You show up for them. Am I going to be the mockery of people who do not like me? God, how can I praise you when these two issues are over my head every minute of my life. They affect everything in my life. God, are You going to be glorified in my life? Am I going to take a look over my life, and see your glory, love, kindness, favor etc, or am I going to see what Satan has won? Please tell me Papa.

In the story of Abraham and Sarah, Abraham once asked God -  “You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir.”. Papa God I am asking you the same - "You have given me no husband, and no children, will my nieces or strangers be my heir?"

I am publishing his today, a week and a half after I started writing it, and paused on that same day. So I lost my trend of thought. 

Life must go in even in our while we wait or are disappointed

 Hello my loves!

I hope everyone is doing well.
So as a woman who is unmarried, who thought she would have been a wife and a mother at least 10yrs ago, I must say life has gone in a very unexpected way from the way I thought it should have.
Now, I know I am not the author and director of my life. I know God holds the whole world in His hands. I also know that a thousand years is like a day with the Lord, and a day like a thousand years. So I know God sees the big picture.

So what do I do when life hasn't given me this unexpected, unplanned journey, as of right now? I say right now because I know God can bring my husband into my life at anytime. Any day could be the day.

I sigh. One thing I know is, life is a gift, and I have to be thankful for all of it, regardless of the parts of my life that I wish had not happened that way. I also know I have sooo many blessings, and when I sit and count them. there's a lot to count.

I know I haven't answered the question yet. So what do I do?
1. I give it to God every time it weighs on my mind.
2. I start by being thankful daily for every seen and unseen blessing I have.
3. I sit in God's presence daily.
4. I work on myself - mentally, spiritually, physically, professionally and all the 'allys'.
5. I make more friends.
6. I build my network.
7. I travel when I have time and can afford it.
8. I go out and have fun.
9. I work on dressing well/looking good and feeling good.
10. I love myself harder everyday.

Some of the 10 points I stated above might need context. I might elaborate in another post.
I leave you with this quote " "Don't wait for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain.".

Have a Blessed Week!

What have I done so far in 2025?

 Hi Everyone!
I have missed blogging, but I feel like I have been trying to figure this thing called life out. So, I made a bold proclamation/prophesy at the start of this year and I am still asking God how He is going to make it come to pass, and what I need to do to make it come to pass. That's a story for another day.
So, I'll post a few pictures of what I have done so far this year, emphasis on few.
My birthday was in February, so I went out to Canoe for lunch, and had a birthday shoot, after lunch. 
Me taking pictures after lunch at Canoe!

My cake. Can you believe that I made some of these cake toppers?

This was one my favorite shots of my photoshoot of me and my cake. This dress was beautiful!

I also became a God Mother again to one of my cousin's sons. This is my 5th God-child.                         

I went to an international multi-chamber event in April. I added the bows from the waist down.               

I lost my aunt in London, so I went to London for the funeral in April. This was with family. The funeral colors were green and pink, just to help keep the mood light.                                                                     

I did not take a birthday trip this year on my actual birthday. I planned to take one in the spring of 2025.  So, I decided since I was in Europe that I'd go to Greece. This was in Santorini. This trip was very relaxing and nice and I think it should be a post of itself, but I want to post more about other things this year rather than travels and outfits.                                                        

This was a prophetic picture. I will have to testify when it happens.

I went to visit my friend in Boston. Boston is a very beautiful city in the summer.

I went to an event hosted by the film industry. A lady who works in the industry invited me. She is such a cool person.

Today is July 4th, so if you are in the U.S.A, Happy 4th to you! Have fun and stay safe.
Love y'all.
 

God is not transactional

 Hello my loves!
I hope you all are doing well.
I will try to keep this post short as I always do in my posts. This post might not be the best read for some people. 
I will start with the tough pill to swallow - God is not a transactional God. I had to learn this myself. I learned it through tears, pain, and not getting what I wanted in the time I wanted it.

When I was in my 20s, a former family friend of mine who lives life in the reality and not by the Christian things she tells me, used to tell me "When you pray and fast, you move the hand of God". Let's just say I spent over a decade and a half, fasting and praying for somethings I still do not have in my hand as of today 4/1/25. It's very clear God doesn't work through transactions. God blesses when He sees that it's the best time for His blessings. God also blesses if it is in His will to bless you with your heart's desire. God blesses because He is our Father, not because we have done anything. He loves us, so He blesses us. Those of us who had amazing earthly fathers understand this well. They took care of us, loved us, invested in us, just because we are their children. Not because we did anything. I know our Heavenly Father is not different.

The church that I used to attend when I lived in Ohio, just as many other churches do, as well as people do, will use Malachi 3:10 to tell me why I should tithe. News flash - that promise was not for gentiles. Read Hebrews 7.  Also, only Levites should collect tithe. Also, it was never every paycheck thing, or every time you had a harvest. There are many other Bible verses that are weaponized to get people to tithe. Breaking News - God does not bless us because we tithe! Also read Numbers 18:20-24, to help you understand that Pastors who connect tithe should have no land/property, their inheritance is their tithe.

This same principle goes for living a righteous life, giving gifts and offering, worshipping, sowing seed, praying etc. You cannot win favor with God.

The book of Psalms reminds us that God sits in the heavens, and He does as it pleases Him. The Bible also reminds us that God has mercy on whom He chooses to have mercy on. There are so many scriptures to remind us that we are not in control, everything we have is by His grace, starting with Salvation.

As real Christians will say - God wants a relationship. God wants a transformation in us. 

My life as a Christian has not been a walk in the park. I have wrestled a lot with God because I thought when I pray, or live a righteous life (fill in any of the others), I am getting His attention to my heart's desire. I spent many years (a good portion of my adulthood) trying daily to live a righteous life in hopes to get His attention. God must have laughed many times at me. The Bible says our righteousness is like filthy rags. So, it's very clear it doesn't impress God. One thing I have learned is, the people who really strive daily to live a life for God tend to have many battles than that of lukewarm Christians or Christians who live a double life. I am not saying in every situation, and I also used the words 'tend to'.

My loves, get rid of the prosperity gospel mindset, live a life of integrity instead (be true to yourself). Love God, love others. Let God do the rest.

I leave you with this:
God's love for us is not dependent on our actions or worthiness. He loves us unconditionally, regardless of our behavior. Instead of viewing prayer as a way to get what we want, prayer becomes a way to connect with God, share our thoughts and feelings, and seek guidance. 

God bless you, my loves!

2025 - My year of love, and marriage followed by pregnancy!

Hi Everyone!
How is everyone doing today? As we all say bye-bye 2024, we are all welcoming 2025. My declaration for 2024 came to pass - I surrendered to God.

I am here to declare over my 2025. I am meeting my husband in 2025. I am getting married in 2025. My husband and I are going to conceive our first child(ren) in 2025. As I have declared, so it will be in the name of The Father, The son and The Holy Spirit. Amen.

I leave you with this - "2025 - My year of love, and marriage followed by pregnancy! " - Natalie Cole.

Trusting God

Hi Everyone,
How is everyone doing today?

As the 2024 comes to an end, I am reflecting on how I declared that this was the year I surrender to God. As I type this post its December 19th, and what I surrendered to God on 1/1 has not yet changed, but I did surrender. I think surrender is a daily progress. Sometime in September I feel, I became fully surrendered to God. Phew, it took some time.

As I think about trusting God, what I have learned is that things ONLY happen when God wants them to. Whether I fret or cry, it only happens when God is ready to do it. 

During this season in life, I thought about a prayer I heard many years ago. So I recently went back and read the prayer - The Serenity Prayer in its entirety. Read it yourself.

What stood out to me was the second verse, maybe it's because the world focuses on the first verse. At this moment in my life where is says "Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will" spoke to me. That is exactly where I am right now. 

I have learned and realized that when the Bible says "Unless the Lord builds a house, the builders build in vain. Unless the Lord watches over a city, the watchmen watch in vain" is exactly how life goes. I have learned that all I can do is trust God. I have learned that when the Bible says "One man plants, the other man waters, but God gave the growth", that only God can give growth even when you do all you can.

When you have tried things your way, you have taken advice from humans, you have cracked your brain and done all you can. You just have to leave it alone, and trust God to lead you to the answer.

Now, trusting God is not an easy task. Trusting God doesn't mean I just sit and fold my hands and do nothing. Trusting God doesn't mean I do not research and learn. Trusting God doesn't mean I become/choose to be lazy.

Trusting God means He leads, not me. Trusting God means I let go of control and know-how. Trusting God means I learn and research and I ask Him for directions and I take those directions because they are the next right/correct step toward my goal. Trusting God means I ask Him daily to show me my next right step. Trusting God means regardless of how things turn out, I know that God did what He knew was best for me. Trusting God means that even when things go bad, they are part of God's ultimate plan that will turn out for my good. Trusting God means He is in full control. Trusting God means that the blessings, things, people, places, positions, goals etc that He promised/showed me years ago will come to pass. They only come to pass in His time.

I realized this screenshot from below is so apt.

Lord, I trust you. Help me to continue to trust You. I cannot do this without You. I need you every micro unit that time is counted in.

Your daughter,
Natalie.

Life Lately - Oct & Nov 2024

 
Hi Everyone,
How are we all doing today?

I attended a few events in October and November that I want to share with you. First things FIRST, I created a prayer closet, and I have had some daily conversations with God in October and November. Most have been pleasant, but there have been a few days where I cried just pouring out my heart to Him. All I have is God. Just as the Bible puts it - "Who do I have in heaven but You?"

I met up with a friendly-acquaintance of mine and her four-year-old daughter for lunch two weeks ago. She's one of those people who seem to have a great marriage, an amazing husband and a loving family. It was good, I was a little emotional-ish at the start, but I was able to get my head in the right place once we started talking. When I got back home she shared some conversations she used to have with God. They really blessed me.

Back to the fun part.
Here are some pictures of some random events I attended.
French American Chamber of Commerce Gala

Fine Dinning!

Remembrance Day at the British Consulate General. With a lady I met at the Business Council a year ago, and her mom.

Climate Fresk Facilitator Training organized and facilitated by another friendly-acquaintance of mine. She invited me. When I walked into the class I realized I knew several of the attendees.

The application won't let me post more pictures....smh
Either way I had a great time and I am still figuring my life as I move along.

I leave you with the quote which explains where I am in life right now - " Live each day to the fullest, even when you're still figuring things out; the journey is just as important as the destination."